Thursday, October 10, 2013

Ya me

Ya Allah let me as fashionable as gold satin with red design
or is dark green mesmerising sublime
or magnificent caramel sugary with lady
or brand new navy shimmering a royal elegance
the cut is beautiful
the shine is right
Ya Allah let the roads be smooth , open for me a special pathway a
secret going
Ya Allah the piano enters my soul and I just want to fly fly into perfection
maybe into the woman I that creates me
a movie people wana see and a story people wana hear
I madea a mistake again and let my tongue run
who am I to hate? and who am  I to force others to hate
music is soft and heautiful
now how cold that be hell material?
am I heaven material?

Ya Allah let me me beautiful and kind
like how I did the right thing putting ginger biscuits in an empty handbag
of 90 years past and a beautiful mind
truly a beautiful mind
even though I may not understand or may not believe
I think he does have a beautiful mind
certainly better than mine
I write swift gotta go
visit Khartoum Streets

Ya Allah
love me even when i dont love myself

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -