Saturday, October 12, 2013

oops I did it again...

and I did   it again
using my snake tongue to be a snakewoman
its just a car and a box
and in 2 seconds all was fixed
what do i have to prove ...nothing
but i had to prove something
to have that way
and the instant i had my way
the instant i felt like a lunatic
for anger floods your cheeks with stupidity
and your body with misery
I hate making people feel bad
so why do I ?

instead of waking other
could have woken myself up from the nightmare im in
and leave others at peace
for sleep is expensive these hours
and now i have to pay
for my insults to just a simple
but  because im lame
itsa huge problem that there isnt enough space for my
integration with society
and ... car
and so
I scream....

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -