Friday, October 4, 2013

Eman 2,

Dear Eman,
Today I'm reminded of everything about you
I dont know why
maybe because its the sadness in my heart as I sit in the middle between an non intended trip
lonely as can be
feeling like this isnt my place
a big woman, and even bigger with remembering you
for maybe wecould have shared Doritos
and maybe we would have foughtover where to go
a sharp spear enters my heart
as noises surround me
and I am empty inside...
missing you and instantly thinking about a beautiful woman that certainly
but you
are you picking flowers.
are you riding horses?
are you sowing magic?
are you eating sweetly?

I dont know
but I know you're happy
God chose you for a better cause
and in that instant where only time meant nothing
I thought about where u are in that very moment
I was so alone in a white car

I miss u
I remember you
and I dont want you to see me like this


how long is your hair now?
how sweet are your eyes?
how beautiful is your body>
certainly more elegant than mine

Dear sister
I try and compensste you but I really just missed you today and nothing would fill your space except tears

and even though i tried to sleep the memories in my mind brought me to an intervention at 2.42 as the whole world sleeps

you and I are ...together again

but wait why wont you hold my hand?
please dont let me go and hold my hand ?

eat with me and remind me of truth
just hold my hand

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -