Monday, September 28, 2009

My reply

Pieces of satin fabric arch my back , As I turn the corner and follow my track
Of believing in Gods shining armour of my reply
I serve to be the choice of strength – as they try to help me let go
Of my dedication and beautification – running through life with temptation , they tempt me and lose me
For I am the cotton, silk and linen of the future – wrapping my intentions with parks of green tomorrow, there is no sorrow wearing these materials of gold on my face – pearls of leaves whisper my gratitude – flowers of colours sharpen my mood –
I will not falter to grow stronger as they want – covering the parallel narrow minds they follow their own cruelty – their own madness
While I hitch a cab and travel north to freedom, to commitment, to wide promises that shine the universe and build the galaxy
For i am not just wearing or covering or replying to you
I am bringing a generation forwards – I am printing an origin through reality that will stay into forever , I am spiritually involved in the relationship of this fascinating achievement – of historic other women that passed my goals – of millions and millions of fabric spun for the longevity of truth and courageous fields of woven emotions
I am the reply I give to you – for I am free – black, blue or flowered – I cover my sanity and serenity, I cover the music of my detail, the fine lines of my intricate fashion, the extravagance of my unknown - for I have heard that the commitment is passion, the approval is high, the gift is paradise
I look to you to understand but you are too busy making up your own decisions about alienated knowledge – genius madness you give me an employment of sadness – but this is happiness – veiled from your objections and your conspiracies

Sunday, September 27, 2009

New Rose of Hijab Graphic

Post Ramadan Intentions_ Blooming Flowers

Going back, by going forwards

Finishing ramadan

I never want to forget

the remedies, the love, the embedding of peace

Finishing ramadan there is a part lost of good

places lost of good time
but times earned of healed promises

Finishing ramadan

I want to go back by going forwards - living everyday, like ramadan is looking

like the nights and mornings are still here

Finishing ramadan

I want to be here

living the passion of God

living the motivation to change

becoming the truth

but... now I have the chance to become

true, real, kind

I have the chance to show what I have l learnt

who i have created

from the practice

from the help

from the time given to change

given to wake

given to love

Finishing Ramadan

I love my life

I love remembering it like I am still here

Saturday, September 26, 2009

inside the picture

what if my soul was a picture

how would the colours run

where would the lines merge

how would my eyes surge

when would the time fade

if my soul was a picture

where would the moments go

and how would beauty flow

I wonder about the glow

if my soul was a picture

where it would it hang

would it be mine

or would it be with someone else

feeling things that i've never felt

being something i've never met

my soul - would it be great or would it be fate

that lasts eternally unknown

running this town above the titanic

come back, come back, she screamed quietly in the middle of the fallen remedy of titanics destruction, her life was on a crisp wafer of water, completed by the magnitude of trauma, icebergs had crucified her heart, and blizards of sharp pain created her new future, where was she to go, who was she to become, come back come back, amidst the frozen dreams , the shattered tears, she screamed for help, don't consume me here,

come back come back, partlicles of words she wanted to be saved, not here , not now, not like this

come back come back -

I live my life now paused in the shadows of a future I cannot understand,

please follow the leader for running this town is not easy,

loving a dangerous theme, lusting a true dream, the words blurt sanity on the border of my home and this flat, merging through the communication of a landline - of my bodies intentions and commitments with the only thing that is on my mind - to respond to the goodness in life -

seesaws break with the imbalance of dancing things and subways run crazy time to their destination - the passages of a blissful arena in the middle of a small citys ocean - the picture stands victory within the whistles of her passion, her desire, her tired eyes.

we are, we are, similiar in the existence to survive, I might be dry I may be winning ,

but I am in a game, losing is fair

losing is a dare

daring her wishes to blast through the midnight tremble above the ruins, she saved them from drowning

but she couldnt save him from dying

walking tall against the rain

the pain

this the life that everybody ask for

but i made mistakes to get here

the drama that i do bring

the shivers that do sting

this urban life is king

but i am not master of her misery

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Love Ramadan, Love You

This is all I ever wanted, this life, this independance, this home, these criteria

I thank you for making me, helping me, showing me, creating me , creating this reality
living in the accommodation of your superiority - in life's living - I live for you

I could not ask for anymore

but for your mercy on me, for your forgiveness on my heart -

I plead your modernity, your love, your sanctuary, your tests
I pray I pass them - and I f I don't - that you may give me the chance to repeat, to continue, to be forgiven,

I thank you for the time - the moments, the day, today

for the first time, this time, now , before and after

you are my Life, my after life you are my God

I love you, for granting me these propositions

offering me this place, these people, this work, this family, these concentration of dreams

I thank you

I don't want to ever stop thanking you

you are my dream - to fulfill a life living for you

I thank you for Ramadan

the modern gift

the beautiful gift

I am sorry for all my sins

I have sinned - now before after - days, nights, wrong moments

I beg you make me strong - I beg you forgive me - I beg you forgive

I beg you make me live --- To commit to Ramadans intentions

living next year with the flowering cycles of religious serenity

and body tranquility- mind in heart and heart in mind for you

I beg you make me live for you

Read for you

Think for you

Work for you

Love for you

Grow for you

Be beautiful for you

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Thanking you...For Ramadan

Thanking you more than the stars I can count... and cannot count
Thanking you more than the waves that mount
Thanking you more than the atoms that make the world
Thanking you more than all the words in all the books in all the world
Thanking you more than the trees, and the cars and the eye lids that sleep every night
Thanking you more than the food that people bake
And the times that people thank you
Thanking you more than the dreams that people have
And the thoughts that minds carve
Thanking you for the life you make
And the choices you help me
Thanking you for the time you offer me
And the places you take me
For the times you save me
And the fact you gave me

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -