Wednesday, October 31, 2007

True love

I want you to trust me
I need you to love me
I'm yearning that you adore me
I'm living so you control me

I'm asking that you let me be with you
I'm begging that you let me see to you
I'm striving to carry out your every demand
Praying to be under your command

I'm thinking of when you think of me
Listening to our conversations and how they would be
I'm already deciding that you are right and I am wrong Rejoicing that I am weak and you are strong

I'm dreaming of how I would serve you
Wondering what to do so I can deserve you
Seeing in my mind how beautiful you are
And questioning myself
Is that beauty of an untouchable star?

I'm analysing how to attract you
Desperate that you let me understand you
I'm counting the days to gain your affection
Yet realising, I'm driven by useless inspiration

I'm imagining the day you will just look once at me
Despite all the evidence that, that could never be

Its illegal, but just indulging quietly
If you ever offered me some emotion
I would lose reality, sanity- all my motion

The sketch

You are one of a kind and no-one is like you
In a dark green park and watching shooting stars as they spark
There is no-one but you
In my ideas and my world
And I have never felt more comfortable in my days before
Because you promised you would stay and I believe you
And you said you need me and I trust you
And when I give in to telling you that I want you
You don’t let me down

So many songs remind me of you
And so many different nights I pray for you
I don’t know you
But when I dream of you everything is right
Even if it’s just for the smallest while
Everything feels right and I can smile
And I am peaceful and happy
And out of my troubles and worry
And it rains in my imagination
Of sweet memories of you as inspiration
To draw the meaning I hold of you in a sketch
Drawings of love for my heart I fetch

Why is it that I can't stop thinking about you. All of a sudden my world has become revolved around you - Once more I dream of only you and I want the years to speed up so I can see where I am in your heart. If you would be near and make my soul smile because you have changed all my hearts wants and needs. It's just that time remains as it is and you still so far away, sometimes those close fantasies fade and blur with the distance. Yet - I swear you are closer now to me more than ever and I just wish I could reach out to you, tell you how I feel and how much it hurts me to see you like this.

Seeing children sadly cry

Painful as hearing a lover die
Your eyes fairy even they are so real
This is why this is enchanted maybe – am I embracing a fantasy?


My head is a mess
Mind in distress
Thoughts under stress
Flammable confusion
Waiting to take charge
I aim to be
Someone from within me
I can understand and use as my soul
But I don’t know that person at all
That person I try and reach
Emptiness is all they preach
A great big hole
That into I fall
Blindly seeing
Decisions that make me
I never take them right
I always fight
In the night of my heart
The pump of my mistakes
But also my words
Junctions appear
Before I steer
Into the wilderness of fright
Which one to decide
Is the one I ride
That will take me to me
And if I break down into a mistake
How long will it take?
Before I can drive to the future again?
I am me
Lost as can be
Tired of what I see
The challenges I must NOT flee
And I ask the world
What part do I have?
In its madness
I need a chance
Given to me
By me
Of hope
In the blizzard of determination

It's dissapointment

Damage with words
Internal syllables
Made from lies
Breaking my heart
Compelled to cry
Pain from remembering
Our open mistakes left
Precious dreams for kidnapping
In a lost tremble
Nauseous circle of void –
Magic scared to fly high
An eternity of dreams gone by
Never in us can we try
To be in love so those dreams never die
It’s disappointment.

A heartbeat away

I look into your eyes
You are a heartbeat away
But in my life
You don’t want to stay
Holding the memories close
To loss I lose
Everything I once owned
Shattering pieces of dawn
The sun rises over a broken mirror
I ask you to stay just another hour
But it’s too late for rain to dampen your soul
For you to hear my call
Dreams scream as I fall
For you to rescue the silence
To give us one chance
An open door you walk through
And close me behind for darkness to run through
My veins, lock me up inside
In the hurt that bleeds my pride
I drown in the sorrow that I cry
I win in the game that let me die
The presence of your absence burning my soul
You never loved me after all
Framed to be alone
Mistaking you, spun me out of control
In the twilight of my nightmares
Confused by my fear
Thrown into the night
A land where I cannot fight
With distance and romance
Always together in my existence
Without you, forever I dance

The challenge

sitting at opposite sides of the table of life, the devil pulls out a chair on one side and the soul on the other. It is a meeting of truth, kingship or slavery, hope or misery as a result. Paper’s of thoughts, opinions, influences, actions, words and views are tossed and thrown. Will the darkness of the devil be the president of the deciding house or will the golden illumination of light from the window of the soul be the savior of the entry.They argue and defend, shout and command, interfere and interrupt, stop and shake heads, fight and slam fists, either win or fight. The table of non – digressing stress solidly separates them but yet closes any aperture that could ever be between them. They are drawn by the destined challenge; what the devil set out to do and what the soul was made to resist.

The devils cleverness; outstanding stunts continue their slyness to overpower. It is an armored mission, challenge to make the gullible soul to fail inadvertently; Outcast the Almighty’s kindness and offer cruelty and weak gratitude. Expatriate the good, exchange with a troubled neighborhood of wrong, wrong doing, continuation of it. To convict in the belief that it is difficult and useless to return to the right path, to become resplendent once more. This is what the devil was set out to do for eternity in the galaxy of the souls meaning. Sit on that side of the table and wild out; furiously inflict hesitation, lack of trust and extinct gratification, creating obstruction, and havoc to the soul. The devil doesn’t know any better, any less, banished to this seat until forever.

The opponent that is the soul knows better. It was given a choice to choose, respect from its creator, the choice to choose, the ability to refute what the devil wants signed or to accept the dark contract of business. It is a challenge, the former, a never ending perseverance for the soul so it can remain refulgent. It is an ever lasting sweat on the forehead from the dripping effort to become stronger than the devil and it can get so hard.

It is the challenge; the soul to refuse and remain on a diamond’s journey and not in a buried tunnel after the meeting.


Expelled with a covering pad of sorrow into blacked out happiness
I’m torn with misconceptions and arrogance
The world is fed with starvation in love
The satiety is from forgiveness with emptiness
The cavity in the core of our nations is of infecting policies
The wounds in our realities skin are impinged by our unkind authorities
All they manage to do is drive punishing salt in our exposed bleeding truth to graduate it to pain
Debt is the new water drunk to sail through our veins, blood freezes
To a consistency of solidified agony but claws of laws still operate
Trying to figure out what I’m going to be
Picking up pieces of lost hope debris
If I could collect my dreams on a clear day
Safe from night rain tears my eyes will later say
If I could have eyes to not devastate the parcel of good luck bound in me
If I could have a soul that doesn’t try to untie, unravel, a mystery, a documentary of vast fearful time ahead of me
If I could own a mind that I bought with peace
If I could contact my heart to send a phone call of reassurance – a dial tone of serenity
If I could hear the sound of tranquility through the message beep of a comforting mobile
To mobile my concreted exile
When I hear the wails of concreted skyscraper cries
Of mothers and little sisters losing their loved ones in a war of why’s
The news opens a department in my heart named ‘suffering despair’
Watching sons and husbands coffined because peace is in ripped tear
A stapler to firm papers of misery in my age
Young strong men locked and flocked to a cage
Tender sweet girls bearing no pink dresses, their skin only wears rage
To her father who kissed her good morning before his work he would engage
Now standing in front of him with his eyes closed, his cuddling body she knew just this morning, now rigid, black from burns
She is the one to kiss him goodbye because her father will never return
Trying to figure out what I’m going to be
My vicinity is an opera show that I can never be free
From torment and loss – I hang a note of plea
I want to be saved from this drowning world sea
A note saying rescue us – rescue me
But all I own is a breaking shattering key
To open the door to what it is
I will constantly see

Sunday, October 28, 2007

3 a. m

Lost in the tide of confusion
Growing amongst a reality that pricks with thorns
They allowed themselves to bleed out the love they had for living with each other.
I know they love each other but I don’t know about other things.
Something is always wrong
It doesn’t work
It makes me feel weak
No more laughing
Now it is just 3 a. m
Always silent
I have grown accustomed to an enchanted darkness
My spirit falling in the black
Of the clock ticking in a midnight track

The song I listen to
The song I dream to
That it could come true
Falling to you
The mystery of this place
Where you have no trace
In this 3 a. m space
The galaxy of distance
The mystery of romance
Awake in my dreams
I see the secret through your eyes
Glistening through my cries
The lights of the city
They soar in the pain
Cold hearted drains
In the network of my heart
The system connects
To the main of my soul
Where for you I call
Your name in the night blare
Dream bear
Imagining a 3 a. m in you
The curtains of the moon sing to the wind
A silk satin 3 a. m falling gently over you
As the time slowly takes you away
The breath joins the morning over the hills of yesterday
But my 3 a. m is still here to stay

Sky falling

Intertwined in loss
Walking along the sky
Until dreams push me down
I drop unmistakably
Falling blindly
Through storms of my time
Back to the world crashing
Everything but hurting
I cannot feel right now
Locked in my heart
To a corner of disadvantage
Imprisoned in my own cage
Of reasoning and understanding
Wrapped in my thoughts
Within my imagination caught
In a web of fantasy
My hands and feet torn to hold
What I love to love
Yet struggling to break free
I fall and fall
To a ground closer
With pain faster
Reaching in my breath
Taking all my strength
The wind races in my ears
The cold slices open my fears
But it’s too, too frozen to cry
Secrets unwrap from the lie
I kept hidden in me

I hear broken communication
With my inner organization
Blown into pieces
My love ceases

An identity I once made
That now only fades
To the forests of the night
The canopy never lets the sun
Just the flood in my heart

I want to find the signs
When I cannot even read the lines
Of my untold story
I panic with fear
My life becoming so unclear
Questions erase answers
Fogging with helplessness
Blacking with blackness
What is meant to be
In my destiny
Dark where I cannot see
What is it in me
And I wish I could find the words to say
What it is that’s in my way
Stopping these rays
Shining on me

Joked and kidded by the truth
Lies are my only friend
I stand in a foreign place
Where I can feel time race
Past me
I’m left abroad with my senses
With no entry to the premises
That I once was familiar to

Tuned to a scale of unrealistic channeling
Reality judges me with inconsiderate paneling
A station calling anything but my name
Yet I must listen to it all the same

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


I havn't told you yet what it is I want but I promise one day I will. I'm afraid of telling you it's you I need but one day I promise I will try. I think it's getting harder everyday to keep it a secret but maybe you will begin to know if you promise you will change when you are around me...............and the darkness falls as the last sentence deteriorates into the wilderness of an everlasting impossibility through a mist of growing pain and a cloud of enshadowing mistake. I hav'nt told you yet and I never will. That my heart you fill -

The definition of a secret
I let -
You -
Into my heart
The dream to dream
Even when tears close your memory
A flood of reality
Drowning past my soul

A secret place
Hiding -
For you –
Beneath the shadows of reality
Underneath fantasy
Even –
In the forest unknown

Secrets from you
I keep so near
So far away from you
I fear
The next time
Was last time

The secret world
I make everyday
And wish they would go away
Because they hurt me more than make me smile
But they always stay
Light in the night

Secret love
Affairs dangerously real
They should be no big deal
But I feel

Like I’m in love with you

Monday, October 22, 2007


Betrayed by myself
Who am I?
What do I need?
Imagination uncontrolled
Inspiration non patrolled
Betrayed by my dreams

Lost in a maze of misunderstanding myself
What do I do?
To make it clean

The mirror of my reflection I stare into
A distance of emptiness
I stare into darkness
Betrayed by my ideas
Too fast for my grasp
I want to break the clasp
Holding my energy to race
Into the change I need to face

Betrayed by my fantasies
Betrayed to misery
Shears of glass rest on my fate
To cut up my state
The shadow grows in my head
What is it that I said?
To myself one day
That I would stay
In link with my identity
In touch with my goals
Never let myself fall
Always hear myself call
When I need help
Never let myself yelp
Because I would always save myself
From the problems in my heart
I would never let it start
Trouble from within
Remain clear beneath my skin
No betrayal from inside
But that’s exactly what I find
Betrayal in my mind
Forgotten what it feels like to know me
Dark strangeness is all I see
Dusty memories broken in me
Missing how my reality used to be
Not the way I hate it right now
So many puzzles I can't find to finish
The game of confidence, I can't polish the day
Meaningless words come out and play
In the expanded confusion of what I say
And every night with tears I lay
Not being able to be me, my way

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Bleeding love

Imprisoned by my thoughts
Lost in my mind
Conquered by my dreams that are falling to the ground

Those dreams rattling in my mind
Like a broken old train
In the wither ness of a dark poisoned reality
Wheels turning into blindness
Smoking emotions of pain
Mountains of regret block my view of tomorrow
I grieve an engine of sorrow
Paths intertwine between and enchantment
And my resentment
The shattering pieces of love
Glass spearing torment of my fate
Once we used to own a place
Bleeding too late to save this emergency case
Through a dispersed memory I remember your trace
Now a dislocated injury the picture of your face
Behind the mirror my reflection screams
Hidden in the background
A promised sound
Of betrayal tonight
Seconds tick until
An emptiness pill
I swallow the sickness of loneliness
Circumstance of a new belonging

I close my eyes
And pray that I
Would somehow see you once more
So much love to say
If I could take your breath away
I would write it all
Find my way to you
Abandon truth but your eyes are true
Meet again
The sky – could look any farther

Instinct flies in a sensation through my eagerness
I imagine your reaction if I gave you secret ness
Lockets and charms of fantasies
In your decision
Hypnotized by the shock or the feeling of imprisonment?
Needing air to relieve this choking mess

Judging by your stress
I dance without you
Flowing in a romantic solitude
Trying to escape from the grasp of your connecting beat to my heart
Standing by you
But you don’t want me
Falling in love with you
But you don’t know me

Latin soul whispers
Magical temptation lingers
Don’t break the chain
To your strength
Cause I would remain weak forever
Loving you is like second nature
Without you I ain’t breathing
Feel like I’m suffocating
From the first time I saw you smiling
I told myself to stop dreaming
To forget needing
Your touch on my heart

Identity melts in the heat of losing
Losing me
An ill shadow now of breaking free

I find myself a stranger
In this rented planet
A high cost to pay
To stay in this demented sanity
Listening to my reasoning plunking
To the bottom of my soul
With broken decisions I fall
The world’s chapters
Torn apart until for ever after

Showers of unexplained meanings
I want to change the season
Falling questions like rain
Thundering answers in vain
Loud and clear
How it all appears
Chances freezing

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Apple Mecca

In a time where attitudes and emotions are intense between the muslim community and the west, I think to reduce conflict would be the easiest of the solutions from either side, not the other way round.

This recent building in New York that is a part of Apple

has been made the centre of attention and anger because the Apple computer company decided to name the project 'Apple Mecca'.

This article I found

Apple Store Fifth Avenue opened as a destination, a "mecca," if you will, meaning only "a place that attracts people of a particular group or with a particular interest" and we mean nothing else by the use of the word "mecca" — in fact, we're sorry we used it already.

The Apple Store Fifth Avenue opened as a destination on May 6, 2006, so it's too late to "stop the project," by which we mean no disrespect. The "Genius Bars" contained (below ground, not in the cube) within the retail store dispense Macintosh computer advice, when not being overrun with generally clueless iPod owners: NO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ARE SERVED

The Apple Store Fifth Avenue is not "a new insult to Islam" nor is it "clearly meant to provoke Muslims." Instead, it is meant a paean to the cube, as the perfect form or whatever the hell, sorry... even though the perfect form is a sphere (again, we mean no disrespect to Islam

I find it ironic that the name 'Mecca' is used and yet they expect no- one to be provoked by the link.

It is ironic how they keep saying it is not meant to be an insult to islam, that muslims are not meant any disrespect yet that it is too late to stop the project or that no-one has any say or petition right.

Would it not have been obvious that any muslim who respects and loves Mecca as the main importance of their holy religion, would feel a loss of dignity and pride and feel that their place of dedication is being humiliated?

Then any complaints I have read, the reply is brought about as if the muslim community makes a big deal of things and muslims misunderstand words and meanings.

What upsets me about the situation is that the building would not have brought about any discussion if it was called anything else apart from 'Apple Mecca' because I don't believe the problem is the shape of the cube used, it is the name. The fact that they decided to call it this clearly makes me feel that they did mean insult and a rule of power over respect.

Which leaves simple questions like -

Are the west really respectful of human rights and freedom of speech? Do they do what they preach?

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

A gust of U

I thought something of you
My life, my sun
Promises in jail
Locked behind rail
They can never come out
Screaming to fight
The storm of the night
The answer is lost
Too high is the cost
Motorways in the speed of drama
Until the accident of losing became trauma
No money to buy back your lies
No heart to forgive your cries
You blew my words away
To a far away play
A battle torn
A new tunnel born
I cannot see
Anything in me
A gust of shame
Your promises never came
Vanishing in the darkness of the wind
Crashing in the stones of hurt
Falling to the rain of thirst
I dried waiting for your hope
A gust of fate that tore first
Before it ever reached me
Broken by distance
You see difference
You see weakness
Eyes that screen me for faults
Beeping until nearly exploding
A gust of hurt spying
Over my sky
This is goodbye
On wings damaged I fly

Stories to explain
All my pain
Written in the rain
But nothing can wash away
That I wanted to stay
In an enchantment
With you

Tuesday, October 2, 2007


Away from everything that I used to call mine
Away from the days my youth named fine
But most importantly, away from you, my one divine
I never told you, I never said
The worst mistake I ever could have made

Away from the peace that flew nourishingly in me
Away from the warmth that defrosted sadness over me
Away from the smiles that shook off my misery
Away from your love that I wanted for eternity
And into despair because I’m so far from you
And into nothing I’ve turned, because I’ve lost magic of you
Why did I fear? Why did I walk away?
Away from you when I needed to stay
A mistake – I don’t want to replay
From you I was forced to go away
Everyday – but I can't – not today
Today I watch the couples out my window
And I wish you were here to be around you
Today I pause wondering where you are
And are you looking at the same shining star
That reminds me of you

Awayalways wonder about you
I sigh hoping that it could be true
To have another reborn chance to try and find you .............
fruits fall from their trees
leaves turn amber from green
benches in the park stay empty
walkways and paths are dirty
gardens are queit and cold
streets are silent and dangerous
people forgetting the meaning of generous
communities are under threat
neighbours hating
families shattering
between them broken glass
everyone is taking
eyes are always faking
Relationships breaking
no-one is waking
hate and selfisheness collide

Monday, October 1, 2007


I wish one chance
So I could show you all my hidden romance -
But more so
If I could just tell you
That I want what’s best for you

Remnants of summer
They fight for heat lost
A battle not to feel the cold
Remember the shadows of brightness
Falling gently on their skies
The taste of peace calling from within
They hold their memories like holidays in pictures
A time when they were covered by the sun
Moments that are now, all gone

Breaking in despair their hopes and dreams
The flight takes them to their screams
Determined to be strong for each other
But deep inside they are no longer together

Abnormal to love you the way I do
To love writing about you all the time
To think of you so many times in the day and to leave you be everything I want
Addicted without reason
Addicted without cause
The stars spelled out your name
Addicted without you; they say it's ill and not true. Unhealthy, scary, unfairly - I am addicted to you.

Where my heart has been
I can't hide the marks
Drive my defences
Down by my fall
Crash the surface
Do U know you're leavin them all over my heart

Take this leap of fate
I'll never know
About you


Broken to come together
Once lost in a land of no mercy
They fight for their family
They fight for their dignity

With all their agony
They make right what went wrong
In the path of disfigured hoods
To fix what went mad
Losing control of the past
They fight to heal the future
Mend the bleeding suture
Of Mistakes

Their open wounds cry out to the sore night
And the sun feels late to dry to their tears
They pray for an answer but their answer disappears

A family sheltered with unknowns
Traveling through time and space to reach confusion
But they copy the meaning of hope in their hearts
They fall to the arms of perseverance
The road blocked to ease
Rising with the dream of existence
The shining of their aim spears

Star time
She smiles at the distance
Wishes for her daughters
They need her to be stronger than steel
She cries to the shameless bareness of her fears
Blinded by the agony of her tears
Can I be as powerful to protect them as they need me to be?
Can I be as quick to save their lives?
She stares at her hands and examines the torn creases
Her heart burns wondering about creatures she must battle
For them

Homework of life
She writes and writes
But she feels like she’s failing no matter how hard she studies
Its all wearing away
She can't make success stay
And it overpowers her
Words and numbers
That she doesn’t understand no more
She is losing her score
Of marks to be safe
Winning detention of worry
All she can be is sorry
That her future is a consequence
Of unsolved homework


I want to protest and fight, for my people’s rights
An eclipse of unfair times has sullenly left them darkling
They marvel in unjustified blackness for reasons of this happening

Why weakness grows, famine soars, lack of education roars
Why are they transported into tomorrow by the lacking keenness of which should be a nation’s conjoint hearts
Hearts adjoined by same creation, same elation and same track
A people that should take pride, die for each another
Shelter their neighbor because we’re united, devoted, intended for one other
But a sky of poverty in souls covers their Land
The bamboozled onlookers onto dimness are ascertain they will be left to dry
Like a ground cracked open from absence of rain
My people are depleted from the rain that irrigates their solicitude

Though same flour of root kneads their infinitude
Identical color of tradition runs their habitude
Similar particles of ground withstands their multitude
But the power of fire that is inequality

Beggar’s hands are the competing winners on our streets
Dilapidated by rejection, hunger, defeat
Death is an overpopulated city where lost children to negligence accommodate
We have forbidden ourselves the sensation of being content if we rescued any handicapped of strength Deploringly, my people are still mystified by the persistent darkness and dullness of their incessant eclipse

It hovers ceaselessly
It is the lacerated closeness between my people
The penetrated kindness with blemishes
The budding selfishness into a non heeding flower
My people, my people have prohibited love’s power
Only power, power of this immortal fire
But hope is a waking dream
The sun will battle its way through


Life shattered
Beauty battered
Thoughts scattered
Emotions spattered

Dreams evil
Surrendering to the devil
Knowledge degrading
Control deflating
Serenity disappearing
Confusion seeping
Percolating and oozing

Youth un–inspired
Friendship tired
The link with love no more acknowledged
The rope with hope rapidly demolished

Everything is lost and dispersed-

Nourish my balance
Undo your absence
Shield existence

Jail of dreams

I try and memorise the many faces that you make
Believing in my heart that I will get to spend my days
Loving you and all the simple things you do

Thorns pricking my arms and confusion stinging
Deprivation of a once free soul
I got to a place that was suffocating
Trying to get out but nothing would give me directions
My decision isolated me and fractured what I always wanted

This picture I hold between my hands
Of you and I
Never goodbye
So kind and warm
With no swarm of pain
Its landscape brings me from inner spirit to collect on its sight
Surreal, magnifying my appeal to find you
I hold the picture deep to my heart
Its become the flower that blooms over my soul

Then I look at it again and notice the heartbreak
One day we will find each other
But the crime is not fake
I am holding a felony
At its very bottom corner the picture reads:

If found: to be returned immediately to the jail of dreams.

Dreams of despair

I wish things were different, if dreams were fair, not throwing me in a sea of despair. If fantasies had any sense of truth and they wer'nt just when I close my eyes. Don't close your eyes to the reality, When you open, you will drown with the loss of connection; heart sinking, memories blinking, mind overtaken and destiny mistaken.

No suprise it's an empire falling of soul having loved you. Until end of time I never will forget, under a spell, stars and stardust fell but I do want to fly and forget all my misery and regret.

Night young full of heartbreak tonight. Bruised and broken, teared and not spared into a world of crumbs. Conscience in circles; stop before you fall, memory with hurdles of never saved emergency calls. Fragile scene, lost fire from a river cried and burned out sensation leaving a completely numb soul being tied.

In the distance of pain confined to my heart are the secrets raining, confined to my thoughts are the memories raging, they leave an emptiness thundering, confined to my inspiration are the losses growing, confined to my sleep are the dreams that fled; can't get you out of my head.

Magic is tragic but magic is real and love is surreal. Wishes are stashes of crashes but I believe in you. Normality, what is my direction, anxiety, is this my eternity, mistake, why am I feeling fake, bleed, where am I being ripped with speed.

Here in my time, why is it showing all this crime; to my heart. Heart, where do I start; maybe on my pain that's left me torn apart.

.........and she locked her heart and watched it flush away, through the twist of the drain, twirling and swirling softly but fast, and then disappearing in an upbeat flash.


Evaporating witness of serenity and deep feel
There is a shadow of misery that becomes a strong seal The vitality of debating has been malnourished severely
The strong experience of madness is revised continuously.

Care is poisoned by a predicament of jealousy and goodness is slashed by a serious asperity.
Faith; the power to survive invites a paradox in its ground, where its infinite beauty is exposed to ugly ill pounds.
Health is deprived for women and children who deserve the best
But the savage rest of others must slot in to infect.

Accidents fatalise into the path of our safety
Murder tumors itself as a corrosive entity

Imprisonment for the innocent is the new rule
The heat of our miserable actions must be forced to cool.

Bombs that are speedily detonating and we invest our eyes to witness the cries that are easily falling
Without a tissue to wipe any of the disasters rapidly occurring
Our good-will has escaped to some far-away training

Key & Filter

Abrupt volcano- ing dreams
persistant to the core
driving me lunatic lava
burning my inner escada*
I can't let this be....
the drama in me
and you as the cause
to my abnormal mind with applause
clapping, ticking, my hands, my time
To the reasons - the promises you broke with crime
then imprisoned me to a jail of you
and the keys - I can see but I don't know how to pursue
getting out/ away from you
You've left me cold -blue-you
you've filtered our life as dirt and water
when they undergo purification
Us - remaining dirt of broken sweetness
I cried until my tears turned to stone
to try and fix our machine that was worn
but no clean water could ever drip -drop out
there's a plug of lies stopping goodness pouring out
there is an accumulation of mistakes holding it away
from leaving anything fall to make me stay
you've made me wonder about
the keys in my hand
I've freed myself with hardship and command
to my soul who wouldn't break free
from the love I once found
now - where will I put these keys
I'm pained at their jingle
I want to throw them overseas
in a sea of forget and dismantle
everything I once knew
black by burned out candle
of hope and trust
lust towards passion
passion of change
change towards nothing but rage
rage that was written in our page
'key & filter'

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -