Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The sketch

You are one of a kind and no-one is like you
In a dark green park and watching shooting stars as they spark
There is no-one but you
In my ideas and my world
And I have never felt more comfortable in my days before
Because you promised you would stay and I believe you
And you said you need me and I trust you
And when I give in to telling you that I want you
You don’t let me down

So many songs remind me of you
And so many different nights I pray for you
I don’t know you
But when I dream of you everything is right
Even if it’s just for the smallest while
Everything feels right and I can smile
And I am peaceful and happy
And out of my troubles and worry
And it rains in my imagination
Of sweet memories of you as inspiration
To draw the meaning I hold of you in a sketch
Drawings of love for my heart I fetch

Why is it that I can't stop thinking about you. All of a sudden my world has become revolved around you - Once more I dream of only you and I want the years to speed up so I can see where I am in your heart. If you would be near and make my soul smile because you have changed all my hearts wants and needs. It's just that time remains as it is and you still so far away, sometimes those close fantasies fade and blur with the distance. Yet - I swear you are closer now to me more than ever and I just wish I could reach out to you, tell you how I feel and how much it hurts me to see you like this.

Seeing children sadly cry

Painful as hearing a lover die
Your eyes fairy even they are so real
This is why this is enchanted maybe – am I embracing a fantasy?

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -