Wednesday, October 31, 2007

True love

I want you to trust me
I need you to love me
I'm yearning that you adore me
I'm living so you control me

I'm asking that you let me be with you
I'm begging that you let me see to you
I'm striving to carry out your every demand
Praying to be under your command

I'm thinking of when you think of me
Listening to our conversations and how they would be
I'm already deciding that you are right and I am wrong Rejoicing that I am weak and you are strong

I'm dreaming of how I would serve you
Wondering what to do so I can deserve you
Seeing in my mind how beautiful you are
And questioning myself
Is that beauty of an untouchable star?

I'm analysing how to attract you
Desperate that you let me understand you
I'm counting the days to gain your affection
Yet realising, I'm driven by useless inspiration

I'm imagining the day you will just look once at me
Despite all the evidence that, that could never be

Its illegal, but just indulging quietly
If you ever offered me some emotion
I would lose reality, sanity- all my motion

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -