Wednesday, October 31, 2007


My head is a mess
Mind in distress
Thoughts under stress
Flammable confusion
Waiting to take charge
I aim to be
Someone from within me
I can understand and use as my soul
But I don’t know that person at all
That person I try and reach
Emptiness is all they preach
A great big hole
That into I fall
Blindly seeing
Decisions that make me
I never take them right
I always fight
In the night of my heart
The pump of my mistakes
But also my words
Junctions appear
Before I steer
Into the wilderness of fright
Which one to decide
Is the one I ride
That will take me to me
And if I break down into a mistake
How long will it take?
Before I can drive to the future again?
I am me
Lost as can be
Tired of what I see
The challenges I must NOT flee
And I ask the world
What part do I have?
In its madness
I need a chance
Given to me
By me
Of hope
In the blizzard of determination

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -