I used to like and be good at writing
and now Im completely zero
like a silent whisper
have i got nothing to say ?
or is it that my mind is so noisy i cant hear myself
not even think
like 2 lasers zapping each other out
or as one would say
quantum physics
thats what its become to me.. writing
like quantum physics
totally out of my league
although i love the feeling of typing on a keyboard
maybe
or the feeling of cold air in the back of a university building that doesnt apply to me
and yet here i am
so lucky
and yet so stressed
time waste and time lock
i have no way to enjoy what i should
a bit of freedom
but am so guilty its like the dark clouds robbing the sun
I should be somewhere else
and yet here i am
typing in the sun
I hate differentiation of tables
sitting with what looks to others like the same bunch of people
although i have nothing to do with them and them with me
its not working just to ask for skimmed milk
and just because you did situps yesterday it does not fulfill you doing them today
the same as praying
the same as exercising
as breathing
as working
as wishing
each day covers ts winnings and its losses
each day is one day
that you are allowed to act in , or be real in
too much coffee is not the correct thing for the head
its just a way for ordering something that is actually nothing
because its the wrong time and moment
first thing in the day was perfect
felt like the razor to sharpen the fog
now it feels like the paint on my teeth
so heavy so wrong
self criticism is the best thing
and the hardest thing
i cant remember the last time i just had time to myself
like this
i think its worth waking up early for
i think its worth being tired for
i think its worth changing for
here it is
6 days in march and 3 months in 2019
a 2019 that is marching through you
making a hole in you
trying to find reason trying to find something to replicate that is worth it
and a skimmed coffee is not enough
to make it happen
im glad im here
but when its june
will be so fast you wont know when it happened
imaging you still saying
the things you are saying now
?
how would that f eel
except
painful?
and now Im completely zero
like a silent whisper
have i got nothing to say ?
or is it that my mind is so noisy i cant hear myself
not even think
like 2 lasers zapping each other out
or as one would say
quantum physics
thats what its become to me.. writing
like quantum physics
totally out of my league
although i love the feeling of typing on a keyboard
maybe
or the feeling of cold air in the back of a university building that doesnt apply to me
and yet here i am
so lucky
and yet so stressed
time waste and time lock
i have no way to enjoy what i should
a bit of freedom
but am so guilty its like the dark clouds robbing the sun
I should be somewhere else
and yet here i am
typing in the sun
I hate differentiation of tables
sitting with what looks to others like the same bunch of people
although i have nothing to do with them and them with me
its not working just to ask for skimmed milk
and just because you did situps yesterday it does not fulfill you doing them today
the same as praying
the same as exercising
as breathing
as working
as wishing
each day covers ts winnings and its losses
each day is one day
that you are allowed to act in , or be real in
too much coffee is not the correct thing for the head
its just a way for ordering something that is actually nothing
because its the wrong time and moment
first thing in the day was perfect
felt like the razor to sharpen the fog
now it feels like the paint on my teeth
so heavy so wrong
self criticism is the best thing
and the hardest thing
i cant remember the last time i just had time to myself
like this
i think its worth waking up early for
i think its worth being tired for
i think its worth changing for
here it is
6 days in march and 3 months in 2019
a 2019 that is marching through you
making a hole in you
trying to find reason trying to find something to replicate that is worth it
and a skimmed coffee is not enough
to make it happen
im glad im here
but when its june
will be so fast you wont know when it happened
imaging you still saying
the things you are saying now
?
how would that f eel
except
painful?
