Wednesday, July 16, 2008

If you knew me

I wonder about you
You make my heart sing
My dreams come true
Dreams that I thought could never be
They come to me
We become family
With romance and life
Things I never imagined
Become easy
I feel so happy
So lucky
To stay in your mind
Know I am what you wanted to find
Could I feel
You making my soul heal
When I hurt so bad
Just felt so sad
Could you make it all better
Like a child I would stay in your arms
But like a hero I would make you proud
All I would live for is to make your life sound

Somewhere deep beyond time, in space and through ryhme
I wish I could smile for you so all your thoughts would change about me
I want to show you that I need you
Give you a message from all that is in me
That I want you
Break a code and write it for you
That this is not me

But all that comes from within me are the shadows of my impurities
My insecurities
The Silence is unbearable
A picture so big and it will never change
A face so small with emotions that never range
Far away from embarassement and nothing

Well... All I ever yearned for was to show you something

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Sleeping vs. Prayer : الصلاة خير من النوم

This series is so interesting, educational and most of all intimidating to the heart and mind of what a devils love really is - wicked and evil - and falling to our weakness and bad intentions are only the beginning of a losing desperate road if we ever do fall in love with a devils love -
Nothing makes us feel more helpless, and so torn apart, broken down and lost than listening to the devil-
Nothing is more harder than fighting the temptation to give in to whatever seems so reasonable and lustful at the time - but deep in our goodness we know its a powerful lie, defeat of a challenge - and nothing is less attractive than a quitter
This battle we should never give in to- to win ourselves and not let this fake devils love win us over temporarily and we need to prove to ourselves the meaning and loyalty that we hold internally, and keep our souls strong and clean for God to see.

I was really moved by this series called - abaleeso and I hope it will be a striking truth for young people to learn from (THIS IDEA AND THE REST OF THEM) -

Moments in a summer time

Sometimes the end is the beginning, new pages are found at the back and the reasons are yet to be discovered even when it looks so clear - Sometimes to be continued is the only way as there is just the middle of the story, no one can finish it at moments in time- Sometimes

I worry about having no words to describe how I feel
Mosttimes I dream too much about the reality
Othertimes I forget to blink into the sunshine and I forget to dance into the moonlight created to swirl me in a collection of a starlight identity.
I forget to be me

Friday, July 4, 2008

The seven ages of man - William Shakespeare

The Seven Ages of man

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel,
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose well sav'd a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Tahat Khotana - Sudanese Band

Lost our steps. This is a lovely song by the Sudanse band.

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -