Sunday, June 22, 2008

Lazy employee أطفح راتبك بالحرام

This series is so interesting, educational and most of all intimidating to the heart and mind of what a devils love really is - wicked and evil - and falling to our weakness and bad intentions are only the beginning of a losing desperate road if we ever do fall in love with a devils love -
Nothing makes us feel more helpless, and so torn apart, broken down and lost than listening to the devil-
Nothing is more harder than fighting the temptation to give in to whatever seems so reasonable and lustful at the time - but deep in our goodness we know its a powerful lie, defeat of a challenge - and nothing is less attractive than a quitter
This battle we should never give in to- to win ourselves and not let this fake devils love win us over temporarily and we need to prove to ourselves the meaning and loyalty that we hold internally, and keep our souls strong and clean for God to see.

I was really moved by this series called - abaleeso and I hope it will be a striking truth for young people to learn from (THIS IDEA AND THE REST OF THEM) -

Time piece

Time is slow for those who wait
...So fast for those who fear
So Long for those in pain
Short for those in celebration
But forever for those who love
- William Shakespeare

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Memories to Reform

My memories rain down on me
from this open sky of misery
pearls of pain puncture my skin
As I absorb my memories and cry deep from within
My eyes keep betraying my secrets
And my tears spill the story of what I've felt
All the hurtful memories that melt into my name
Poetry place in the middle of my dreams
Singing words to the hum of despair
Trying to fix my wounds so I can repair
The Rips and bruises in my mind
Then maybe I'd be able to find
Peace of mind and a resting conscience
I know it starts from within
The courage to Love
Yourself and the one above
I keep breaking apart
Like its poor quality glue - that got sent to my heart
Tired spells slowly depart
Silences of soul, wounds in spirit
Waiting for a lost credit
Take away the shadows of the doubt
My ancestor of torment suddenly split from my name
Giving me the best broken treasure I would ever regain
understanding moments and moment of time
through a sea of regalis, monarchy and true crime
Essential reform spearing the light

If the Colours of the Sunrise ran into me

The sunrise comes into the sky

Red of blood and orange of lust, like silk magnetic passion it blends into the makings of a romance - A time of connection between the Rising and the Darkness that has ceased. Between memories and forgetting time - The bleed of colours takes out emotions and creates a loss of sensation - it is so strong that all I can think about are the melody and symphony of the atmospheric paint, so soaked in richness and deepness it is very close to dripping onto my heart - If it did , it would be like the swift imagination of something I've never felt before - the space of true freedom and the moment of existence - If the colours ran into me - I would be a product of nature - a way of Life - If the colours ran into me I would be differently unique - my fingertips would not give in easily as they are coated with the strength of beauty - my eyes would see things for their true nature - I would see beyond the invisible, past the pain -

If the colours ran through me - my body would sink into the air and weld into the metal of building personality - I would know every particle of me as the colours speak to my sub conscience my self speaking words would demand existence as each becomes alive with a colour

Red for passion for God

Blue for peace and eternity

Orange for Lust for Life

Purple for Royalty of mind

And Black for the end of Pain

As the New day appears slowly everything takes its pplace quickly - I would become a palace of co ordination and a pathway to determination and gardens of prosperity would decorate my path.

If the colours of the sunrise ran into me

Echoes in my mind_ (The Contradictions of similiarity)

Falling stars cutting the darkness and entering into a whispy night of dreams and mysteries shining through eyelids demanding peace ,yet only funding trouble from the deep dark soul that profits from money of a tormented plight.

Feeling awake while asleep, numb while conscious

I wonder where is my place,

Where is the emotion in anothers face,

Are they for me or against me,

I feel like they are destroying me.

Sweet dictatorship with misery I blend

The sounds of my memories momantarily gush through me and unlock all the reserved energy of goodness, I am blinded by the viscious passion that soars in me as poison and beauty become one. As perfume and rubbish devour each others defintions and Hell and Heaven are stirred into the complexity of identical apparitions.

Painted black with white paint.

Complex rythms raining on my soul

the waters of my dreams soak me as I fall

Deep down somewhere in the drains collecting my identity

I'm broken into pieces to fit into different pipes of mystery

Each part of me alone, wondering where is the good end that I can reach

In the pitch black hole of the night

As taxis and trafiic lights fight

and the rains of light pool onto streets that are stalling memories and time

Love seeps with intensity in my mind

But the urge to escape from this backstreet defined

I Don't forget that I am undermined

By a mind that wants to find

Something that is ugly but kind

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -