Sunday, October 28, 2007

3 a. m

Lost in the tide of confusion
Growing amongst a reality that pricks with thorns
They allowed themselves to bleed out the love they had for living with each other.
I know they love each other but I don’t know about other things.
Something is always wrong
It doesn’t work
It makes me feel weak
No more laughing
Now it is just 3 a. m
Always silent
I have grown accustomed to an enchanted darkness
My spirit falling in the black
Of the clock ticking in a midnight track

The song I listen to
The song I dream to
That it could come true
Falling to you
The mystery of this place
Where you have no trace
In this 3 a. m space
The galaxy of distance
The mystery of romance
Awake in my dreams
I see the secret through your eyes
Glistening through my cries
The lights of the city
They soar in the pain
Cold hearted drains
In the network of my heart
The system connects
To the main of my soul
Where for you I call
Your name in the night blare
Dream bear
Imagining a 3 a. m in you
The curtains of the moon sing to the wind
A silk satin 3 a. m falling gently over you
As the time slowly takes you away
The breath joins the morning over the hills of yesterday
But my 3 a. m is still here to stay

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -