an artist an yet a prisoner and im amazed because an artists mind is like the waves that come crashing down on hard sand - they can melt anything away with their brush theyre magical eyes their hopes to be free on paper and life - life is a piece of art for them i should think but not for this aspiring artist
no this onee
I can see her dying a tiny bit each time she gives her heart and soul to nothing and believes in everything that could be -
a waste of time, respect, meaning, if she declares to be faithful - is she really that artistic faithful beauty that God has forgiven and wants of her exactly waht shes doin?
is this the faith that God wants - the forbidden music act and the illusion of modesty - tightness like handcuffs instead of free flowing material that can only make a woman illuminate with joy of being muslim
I only see a young girl black with the fake thought that what shes doing is correct
I can see her confused at why she is here and maybe not there in the neighbourhood but instead in a room with complete strangers and a life like a prison cell - further attended to by a confused conclusion of what true chivalry is ....
I can see her broken from a long time ago so many stations she couldnt get on until she gave up getting on the train so when she looked around she took whatever was in the station she couldnt move from
I can see her frustrated at herself wanting to be old and her biological need to be young her thoughts telling her to do things only children would do yet her powerless soul powerless to stop a young womans feelings and emotions
its all about feelings - teenage love they call it? or is it a crush -? a bit of flirting and if faith was truly on her mind - she would realise how deep a mountain shes fallen from -
for what I saw was not love. neither for a man or for the one true God
what I saw was not beautiful or strong or meaningful or true or powerful or courageous or unique or wise or happy or healthy or good
what i saw was a screaming of a child begging to be loved and looking for it any where that would let her
what i saw was a wailing heart just tormented to run away from here
what I know is light doesnt follow her name and instead walks in darkness
of misguidance ,
of lack of educataion
and no love
there is no love inside her
just some building blocks like lego land
there is no knowledge inside her and i dont just mean school education , I mean real knowledge the one that tells you where you want to go and what you want to do
maybe im exaggurating
but
I find that the explicit force of bonding aimed to fulfill completely unknown challenges and intentions is just too painful to watch
a daughter and father in 2 different parts of a world , even though they live in the same house
a mother and husband divorced yet still together
a mother and daughter like the 2 most popular girls in school that hate each other and dont know why
and so the daughter and x are the solved perfect equation of tradition and attribution of a chaos fatal but seemingly cool and wonderful ......
( oh I ll starve in hunger and wont eat so as Im not seen like i eat in front of him because I want him to always see me as beautiful and im also extremely nervous in front of him I could never eat anyway , its not... girlfriend material no wife to be material and so I will sit in that far bed and watch him tenderly eat)
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