life has changed and things are dramatic
this is not who I want to be 87 days before the final day
until I step out of this world and enter the neext
right now
I know God aint happy
I know hes dissapointed
so that ivory winter white will look elephant and not like winterwonderland
im rough
and i hate it
can i Really change into the woman I want to be in 87 days
they say it only takes 21 to change any habit aaround
I dont know ive given up on myself so many times before
why not now?
easy to forget what i want and how to get it
easy to become so preoccupied with others faults
I just hate this house
sometimes
no thats wrong
I hate myself
I really do
tell me hope?
what is that youve accomplished since
a year ago
this is the year out
this time last year you came back to Sudan
afeter just a passs
and now i tihnk that pass would be ok youre in fail territory now
youre just a spider of cobwebs
everything bringing you down..
I can never understand you
God is no nice to you
and yo uare so nice to you
trust me if u were the most anyone you wuld never be happy with this personality
never
....
there are 87 days until life changes
until days become true nights
until reality becomes 2
until dreams become true
until hope becomes new
but its like....
that last day i left my room and looked at its silent bed and walls and thought
ive left you forever now /// Good bye
and I felt I had closed a huge part of my life the one where school days nourished and I was ...was that girl who knew nothing of the future except Douglas and the Cinema...
and now in 87 days
I will look at my past life and think
ive left you forever now///Goodbye
and I dont know what i will feel before I turn away
but I should think if I dont close this chapter of my life the right way
no ivory dress will make me right .........
.....
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