Tuesday, October 8, 2013

84 days until forever...

what a wonderful request
one filled with ernest 
and truth 
just thinking like that makes one a better human being
but I want to carry out the skill
of zoning onto ones self
and forgetting the madness of others
for others will have faults
and those faults are not for you to dwell on
and those people will make mistakes
but they are none of your business
if you make it yours  then their sins become
a root for your sins
and their faults
force you to have faults
and suddenly those 
play a vital role in your 
why would you give that power
to someone
who really has stolen goodness of you?
entering a new life
and in the process of becoming a new woman
and throughout the next 84 days
until forever
i never 
want to talk about others again
an elegant woman thinks of her own faults and how to fix them
a faithful woman doesnt deny her own mistakes only
to look at others
that is a non elegant trait
for a sweet tongue 
makes you a beautiful one
be special be kind
and you will be happy

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -