( I had a sister named Eman who passed away a long time ago due to illness. I was young and naive, never really knew her but now as I reminisce on my broken self I start to realise maybe I need to go back to go forward, maybe I need to connect with my lost soul and the lost pieces of me , one of which is remembering her essence. and so I try find fragments in my life of her in the hope that I hope, find my lost faith and my originality... )
I visit for eed and find a vague connection between lost faith and a faith I see now. A woman in her late 40's maybe , a beautiful woman named Eman also. A cousin of my mothers, this woman is ... very elegant. I admire how her skin is always glowing and doesnt have a wrinkle. strange... she has a million worries to give her wrinkles, but I cant see any. She uses Vaseline and glycerine only. and her home is where her heart is. I like her substance. A woman of reality I think and not just emotion for Ive never her seen her complain or be heartbroken. not in front of us anyway, a woman of much greater Spiritually than any other individual ive met. I find her strong for she holds the key to waking early and staying up late, something Ive always wanted to master. I ask her how she does it.. she shrugs and just says shes used to it. her smile is requited with Gods love for her ... i can feel the peace in her soul. her life is queit , a lawyer, she must be fair, but life hasnt been fair to her, never seen judgement in her eyes though...I wonder what she does alone... I find her calm, sweet, always asking about you but never worrying you about her problems. although I should think shes got the biggest unresolved slash in the world. she has... no children..without cause. no one knows why she doesnt have any. but when I look at her I dont see that sadness. I can only see love of God . I feel in her that her golden personality comes from that test , however without her great trust patience and love of Allah , she would never be serving barbecued meat and doing sharbot on the 2nd day of eed 1434. I think shes amazing, and as I watch and compare a woman with a name that means the world to me and links me to the thereafter I ask myself
I lost a sister named Eman and Eman lost the ability to become a mother... between those deadly miseries can you not find a new born meaning and perspective to life and can you really not bring out an honest joy and strength inside you , you never thought possible? is that really impossible?