hes nice today
I hate it that way
makes me feel im evil prey
im a terrible woman
unforgiving
so judgemental
so impatient
and so unkind
God im ugly form the inside
like a swamp
rotten with bad words
and green with layers of views
hes sweet today
he looks at his room maybe wishing maybe hoping this is or isnt the last time
I put ginger biscuits in his handbag
each one a sweet prayer he will be alright
I wish I could do more
I wish he uses them
let them be the last fragments of my broken down goodness going with him
I suddenly remember all my negativity, all my disastrous methodology of relativity
to my ...grandfather...
all my times I didnt go or worse
didnt want to go
I still havnt shown him the picture
I feel... like dula
just pure mean
and wicked
I feel no different
maybe I am no different
for lets count the difference
I dont see none
people bite her
and hate her actions
i hate her actions
but really were no different
wild witches thinking were both something
when the real someone is the one
were fighting
hes young today
and im the 90 year old
hes peaceful today and im the one at war
Oh Ya Allah im in pain
oh Ya Allah im in pain
its obvious today
what a terrible person I am....
...........
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