Tuesday, October 22, 2013

to read 40 years from now....

and so you wait until you shrivel into a secretive mess
dying inside like you never knew the taste of life
like you never breathed , or you never drank
cool air
water of your veins just stops
and you are forgotten ..
you forget yourself

you become this unhuman who just waits for something to happen
just something to happen
until then
red and green cards can fill the gap
diamonds and spades can be your obedience

while you wait for the right time

the right thing to do
the right place to be
the right hope to feel

you can just wait until that time comes

its probably tommorow
thats when its going to happen
and if not
then just say
its probably tommorow
and if not just say
its probably tommorow
and if not just say
its probably tommorow
and if not just say
its probably tommorow

20 years pass
will you still be in the same place a master of hearts?
while you wait for tommorow to come?
that tommorow where you are a new you
a stronger
a better
more demanding of yourself
hard working
or will you have maybe forgotten that dream
because you would have realised
that tommorow will never come
because it was always there
you just never saw...or tried to reach out

40 years pass
time runs still
maybe time means something now
every second that runs by is important
and you wish you could collect all the time
but time runs so fast and you just wish

just wish... 40 years ago you didnt wait for tommorow and instead you enetered into today
and now
so you could change your future

so which one will it be?


No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -