Tuesday, October 8, 2013

never imagined it would be you,...thats why its perfect

tall and handsome
young and wise
I sit here to my suprise
and find you in front of me
helping me 
to carry my weight
making my life easy
and light
filled with light 
for you and with you I fight
its cool
its a breeze
at 1.41 am
 I wanna sleep
but gotta say goodbye
to 3 travellers
and worry
sick of that story
I feel like fasting is cleansing my soul
I want to be strong
I want to be right
for forever I want to be
my Sudan fairytale
one woman 
whos different
for a cause
my cause
to be successful
in love
and beautiful
inside and out
no more collections discommunicating
my thoughts 
and dreams
no more interventions of inability 
disconnecting my 
favourite things
I have a song
that I wanna play in
...a certain day
for a new beginning
in a strange place
at a common time
boy im tired
but you keep me alive
waiting for my eyes to rest
Tommorow is a test
that I gotta pass....

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -