Sunday, October 20, 2013

A Diva dances in me_ a morning writer

because I want to remind myself never to be the same
yesterday I watched beyonce all over again
she makes me wanna live and live more
and be cool and better and kinder and strong
an amazing woman I want to be
not like her 
but like me

ill always be better and im going to fight all that is wrong until I get somewhere
and not just anywhere
somewhere that has a point and strength 

I think no one can stop me only me
and ive stopped myself long ...enough
today is a beautiful day
and I want to be have more and more beautiful days
and I want to love  and create and recreate
and dance

I love dancing
it why I promised myself no wedding without dance
and I didnt think it would come true but 
now suddenly
its all come true 
and better
and dancing is like the breath , the life, the joy, the sweat , the hardwork, the beauty, the sexy, the traditional, the modern of the wedding

everything is beautifulwith dance


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -