Sunday, September 30, 2012

Last day of September

I feel alive with freedom and beautiful time
Knowing that if I think about it I
can save
my life
yes
rushing I cannot do
but doing thhings correctly is the correct thing to do
Ya Rab I ask that anything I wear makes me look
Beautiful
as I never want to feel unbeautiful again

In the last day of September I try again
Im not what I thought I was but I didnt think I would be where I am now
happy promising
regretful of not working hard but adamant never to do the same mistake again
In the last day of September I queitly type in a glass room
with natures green and weak sunshine by my side
its a little cold and dreary but to me its like the sky is fresh and air is satin
I can breathe
I can smile
in the background dubbed turkish series run , I have no clue about the story line
but my ears understand a problem
My eyes are concentrating on my own story
a beautiful story one that needsliving
to its max
In the last day of September I ask myself
how precious is a healthy life to you ?


it is very precious
in every aspect and corner and miscelllaneous area
and I know nothing will be right unless I live healthy and well
within myself and then around me
my body is...delicious
and my heart is sweeter than my mind but my mind does have to do regular inspections for breaks that let the devil in and so does not have the time to spa and relax
Except I am going to give it my all to take more of its shoulders
my mind is a creative haven waiting to be .....discovered
and given full credit

but it also is a vast space of earthly land waiting to be grown
and sown
and taken care of
so that it brings out what you want it to think

like
I'm thinking
i must control my emotions not them control me
i must live every day with good intention
and learn from others and must give positive before negative
or even avoid negative
I must bounce with glee
and I must be free from all chains of misery
and I'm thinking
I must strengthen my faith and
treat it with detail
and give it its full attention and exceptional promotion
to the most important areas of my soul

aaaa my soul
my soul is the last level
the final adventure
the only piece in me that glows
and shows
a reflection of who i really am
I think you can hide whats on your mind
whats inside your heart

but not your soul
and so in the last day of Spetember
I'm thinking
my soul is my truth
and I must have truth

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -