THe first letters of white

the first time I write from  here , here
I feel promoted yet i dont know where zurich is
I feel ashamed
and yet I feel proud
I feel so weak
and yet I feel strong
I feel I dont deserve
and yet i feel I do
I feel honest but i feel like ive decieved
I feel like im in just the wrong place
I want to do so much more in my life
I want to feel better
I want to stay determined
I want to live young everyday fresh with a meaning
when I go, If i go
everyday
i want to look at myself in the mirror and say ive tried
for I know its trying that is the most important
I also want to stick to a dream
amazing how when God puts me on the path to this dream that ive been dying for
I forget it
NO
devil get out
im smarter than you
Ramadan is not far
aims have not deteriorated
not they are here
I can still scent them
their fire
their passion
their lust
everything i desire
is waiting for me
i dont want this and this and this
i just want that
to be an emotional girl with feelings like waves and a heart that beats miraculously and true
for the one above and ....one other