Sunday, September 16, 2012

change the whole of me 5

on the final day
I pray for the best
 in every way
I pray for tranquilit yand safety inside me and a happy heart
with a big smile
I pray to pray always
and I pray to stay in love with life and
and patience
I pray today and everday in everyway
for a sweet future
one with health, good time , right love and perfect memories
ya rab
i ask your kindness and I pray for your guidance
I pray to do the right things
for I could techniquely decide but
   I asked your reasoning your stability and knowledge to touch me
for I really do not know
and I need your help i ask you glitter me and shower me with just one dream
I ask you perfume and scent me and take the time to look at me glow
I ask taht day yo are with me proud and ready to give me a new definition
ya Rab change the whole of me that I am sure  I want and I need and I want to work for
Ya Rab change the whole me of me
for I want to be beautiful for you

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -