Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I see.... your annoyed

So you try break me
I heard you were short
I heard you changed tactics
and here you are changing tactics
as I didnt let you win
I didnt let u in
and you wanna get me somehow
so you lose my concentration
and you try to break my determination
and you want me to make a fool of myself and
you want me to cry
becasue I didnt try
hard enough to fight you
and now time
is on the go
and I am so slow
to fear that is catching
but I wont let you
tommorow i will wear my most beautiful clothes
and the best perfume
the most attractive eyes
and I will speak like the queen
and I will ooze confidence like chocolate filling in chocolate cake
and I will be just right if not perfect
i iwll be perfect
because I beat you
and you are annoyed
I can sense it

but tomorrow I wll be powerful and young and healthy
and strong and I will remember it all and forget you forver
each day
each day I wake up
you are a little furhter away
and that kills you
but you are
because I pray
that you and I are like the east and the west
and its working
 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -