Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Signed ....I wont let you

nice try
but I wont let u
you wont shape my future no more
you wont pull me  past  my dreams no more
I wont let you I Wont put my guards down
you can try
you may pass one security , or two
but you cannot finish your stealing gam
I will catch you
and my heart will remain the same
strong and far away from you
you wont win no more
you cant live here no more
your a loser here
your weak here
and i wont let you win me
I wont let you be bigger than life
larger than truth
i wont let you be stronger than pain
or sadness
no you are minute
and miniscule and pathetic
i hate that word
i hate you
and i will beat you down
till you are .....gone completely

Signed....I wont let you 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -