Monday, September 3, 2012

The taste of life 1

You should be hungry for life for life is sweet, tasty and magnificently beautiful unless you cannot see or feel that unless your taste buds of enjoyment are all malfunctioning - unless you are unaware of your existence and your pure of heart and life is worth every bit, I feel sorry I ever waste time crying, or feeling sad, i wish I could take back a lot of thing s but i figure that is more time in the bin dreaming abuot yesterday.... I will win this fight , to love and love true, to develop my existence so it makes sense, and have meaning for i do not want a result of boring schedule, or lifeless heart, I want to change , Ya Rab change the whole of me , Ya Rab help me see what it is I am missing and help me be blind to what it is that destroys me and help me hear your words and help me save my life from pain and illness, ya Rab all I want is what you give me I am sorry if I make you feel otherwise for I am an emotional rollercoaster that does make you throw up. Ya Rab help me , change me, save me from myself, and do not let me live in this world except with a distinction for I may not deserve it but I want it for them, I want it for myself, I want it Ya Rab, help me get all the things you plan for me , Ya Rab

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -