Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Signed.....Turned on the lights

I know youre here and I wont let you take my lifefrom me
yo uare triyng and I will fight back
all my problems
all my problems
are solvable
all of them are just tricks
all of them are God seeing how good I am
I wil fight you pathetic devil
and I will take advantage of all my resources
because in the first time I am excited and havea chance to be happy
and have a chance to start over
and lesson learnt
I will make myself beautiful inside to out
not for anyone excpet me and then the one
the one that Gods sends me the one that I am right for
the one that loves me
and makes me feel perfect and a beautiful woman
becasue I am
but he has the key to say so
I will make myself beautiful for hm
the one I want to be kind to
and smile to
and make happy and most importantly
the one that wants to need me
and be near me
becasue he wants to foerver
nothing else
its just simple
youre not in the equation
and I am winning how many times have there been crises a lot
I hope God protects me from them
but if they come
you are not the solution
you are only the accelerator to pain
you are the catalyst
you cannot make me do anyhting but if you can affect me
and I wont let you
never ever again
I am everyday stronger htan before and I will shake you when yo utry to stick
liek now
those were not the solutions
and I saw that

Signed... Turned on the lights

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -