Ya Rab help me
Ya Rab I ask for your help against myself and my miseries I ask you dont listen to me sometimes for I cry unnecessariliy and i smile wrongly and I close my eyes and see ugly and I open them and forget you
Ya Rab I pray you help me and save me from question I do not know the answer to and I pray you help me from stutters and voicec abscence and eyes that wither with embarassment for NO that is not me Ya RAb I wont to prove myself wrong and then others Ya Rab help me save me , Ya Rab let me be more than great more than grand more than amazing, inspirational wonderful, let me be more than life but never more than ignorance more than impatience more than wrong speed, Ya Rab I have only a few hours left, let me salvage my existence now and forever Ya RAB i ask your peace in my mind, Ya Rab this fight is ticking it must blow over ......it must blow over .....ya rAb let it be like ash on me, like silent villages or like remission - of the dark
What it is...
I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.
My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-
My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.
But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.
Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...
Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -
It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -
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