Monday, October 1, 2012 natural,,,,be beautiful

I dream
I live
I aspire
I collect strength
I fly

I will be a new hope
with a new scent
and that works hard and tries her real best
love for faith - even if at 3 am at 4 am
I used to think before there are always more faithful ones than me
it made me never really believe in myself
but now now i think
yes there are very good people too
but I am my own goodness and it is what I do and all else doesnt matter
have good strong opinion be wise be strong but be sweet be mature be hopeful be natural
caring  honestly to others and then to yourself
if you really cared for your self it
would show
and you would know
how pretty and happy you really can be
be loving but be daring be promising be magnetic be attractive
be natural - simply be kind be easy
energetic - oh live live for moving your body and twisting into activity
fun to be with to see to hear to talk to be around
entertaining to life - live your life and nobody elses and not for anybody else
except God 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -