The coolness of the external alone fills my heart
I feel safe , unwanted ...but safe
wishing that they open their door i search for remedies, memories as I am greeted with a warm but a cold welcome or was it a goodbye, I dont know - I was looking at what I wished my future would be like i was looking at the beautfiul sudanese yard clean and dribbled with water smelling like aftershave of rain and sweet flowers, the lemon tree sitting on the side like a glazed queen, I was looking at the way the lights fall and the entrance to the inside of the house tempts you to run inside - we went at that time when all the hard work was done cleaning and cooking and sleeping = their children greet us beautifully clean and queit plaits controlled and voices unheard - come say hello and then they run to where they came from - I admire everything insdie the furniture the carpet the curtains the ornaments the kitchen although i didnt enter it today the fans the freshness the love the faith I admire everything and I start to remember all the good things I know I want to know I thought i knew - we ask for tea only they give us tea only and three tyoes of biscuits two homemade
one ginger biscuits with sugar sprinkled on top the ginger comes to me like a waft of life inside turmoil soft but surrounded with a bit of brittle like me? i love them
I am queit today i was never queit when i went to visit them but today i was queit thinking they really dont care they really dont know how much I love them and wnat to be like them I never want to leave even though I know their home doenst really want me as i leave i imagine their in progress garden how beautfiul lights flowers in a certain way tea and juice or maybe dinner outside
oh and pickles .....aubergine cucumber and cucumber carrots onions>? dont let them boil , salt sugar vinegar water i try and remmebr i desperately try and save it in my memory pretend ive done it a million times pretty young woman doing a grandmothers job perfect sexy cool
i hate leaving but i hate going
I always feel unbehaved and lifeless when I leave them
and dirty and unsudanese
I feel all those things when I visit the best people inthe world
I feel safe , unwanted ...but safe
wishing that they open their door i search for remedies, memories as I am greeted with a warm but a cold welcome or was it a goodbye, I dont know - I was looking at what I wished my future would be like i was looking at the beautfiul sudanese yard clean and dribbled with water smelling like aftershave of rain and sweet flowers, the lemon tree sitting on the side like a glazed queen, I was looking at the way the lights fall and the entrance to the inside of the house tempts you to run inside - we went at that time when all the hard work was done cleaning and cooking and sleeping = their children greet us beautifully clean and queit plaits controlled and voices unheard - come say hello and then they run to where they came from - I admire everything insdie the furniture the carpet the curtains the ornaments the kitchen although i didnt enter it today the fans the freshness the love the faith I admire everything and I start to remember all the good things I know I want to know I thought i knew - we ask for tea only they give us tea only and three tyoes of biscuits two homemade
one ginger biscuits with sugar sprinkled on top the ginger comes to me like a waft of life inside turmoil soft but surrounded with a bit of brittle like me? i love them
I am queit today i was never queit when i went to visit them but today i was queit thinking they really dont care they really dont know how much I love them and wnat to be like them I never want to leave even though I know their home doenst really want me as i leave i imagine their in progress garden how beautfiul lights flowers in a certain way tea and juice or maybe dinner outside
oh and pickles .....aubergine cucumber and cucumber carrots onions>? dont let them boil , salt sugar vinegar water i try and remmebr i desperately try and save it in my memory pretend ive done it a million times pretty young woman doing a grandmothers job perfect sexy cool
i hate leaving but i hate going
I always feel unbehaved and lifeless when I leave them
and dirty and unsudanese
I feel all those things when I visit the best people inthe world
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