Saturday, November 19, 2011

Undisposable dreams 3


..... I hope that I find him, and if I do that he loves for who I am... I would love to love him, his brown eyes would hypnotise me and I would tell and show him everyday the vast quantity of my love
......This is a poem or something but I am in a very in love mood. The problem is when I am like this, I cannot concentrate on anything else, no matter how hard I try,
....... I wish I find him soon.
Let him be sensual and exotic, romantic and hypnotic, Safe and Muslim, perfect Muslim in this hard world, let him love me, my senses, feelings, words and emotions, let him love my shape, my eyes, my touch, let him love my dreams, my imaginations, let him love me. Let him be kind to me. And in return, I Will give up my life for him...let him be, and let us be together for all magnitudes in time ,

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -