Memoirs of a Sudanese Breath: 1 song, 2 different meanings

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

1 song, 2 different meanings

Been Given 24 hours to tie up loose ends to make amends

Head spinning around

suddenly no time to sit down

just want to run and run and run

be careful

DONT wish life away

NOW

Imagine if

I only have one day

and I CANT believe how IVE been wasting my time

Imagine if they were laying flowers on my life

that life

I do not want

today

I magine if it was over

tonight

there would be no

Tommorrow

just

Heaven and hell

there is

is it only then

I will see what matters to me

THE places I ve been

The People Ive seen

Plans that i made

life that I left fade

will it all be clear

when the price is too dear

to return and fix things?

why I cannot dance

even when the lyrics of life

do not match with the story I want

see what I mean

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -