Saturday, November 26, 2011

Tomorrow

Tomorrow

There is a new Queen to be born

I feel like all my jewels have been stolen

I feel like all my nice things have been taken

now

I am just pure and raw

beating with the a broken heart, a tired heart,

but

Tomorrow

There is a new mend in place

it will take place

Tomorrow

Because Tomorrow is  the new arabic year

different, unique, forgotten, but amazingly important

1433 years ago, my beautiful religion started


its never betrayed me , its never parted with me

but I
I chose to break my relationship in return breaking me
I chose to cut it out in return cutting me

but I
sit here today, the lost the losing the loser
I dont walk further ,
I dont wake
I dont ......
Or I am eating my heartbeat away


Tomorrow because I am so tired I am going to try
I am going to cry for another thing, for other things
for new things
I am going to stop because Tomorrow
a new day is here

that no one knows about
that no one cares about

but I Do
my new year
my new start

and it starts with forgiveness.........

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -