Wednesday, November 30, 2011

hair loss

There was once a girl with beautiful hair
each strand represented a day , a memory, a beautiful thought
she covered her hair loved her hair combed her hair wanted her hair to be an emotional secret 

But the wicked witch inside her grew nad grew until she convinced her to let down her hair to stop hiding her hair, to stop protecting it and thats when her  hair turned into a witches nest ,
where it harvested pain, pleasure, desire, lust and ....she suddenly lost the black shine, the smooth curls, the long silk running to her shoulders it was like an evil spell coming true a poisoned apple attacking the softness
suddenly it was sharp, rough tough brown? or was it grey? broken strands on the floor and most importantly
this hair was now no longer hers it was no longer under her control under her body
it was no longer to be proud of
it was no longer to be clean of to be talked of to be smiled about

the mirror cried for it could no longer show her the good and beautiful it used to see
the lamps tired of shining for they had nothing to shine for
she started living in a place damp cold and queit and alone
she was alone
she lost her hair
she lost its suprise
its black beauty
its tremendous strength
all she could see was ....clumps of mistakes
each mistake had cut a piece of her mind
until there was no longer anything t o .....take
it was all just a distant memory now.............

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -