Thursday, November 17, 2011

There is a girl I am searching for

I close my eyes and I dream .....
This time this dream is an alternative to reality it is not a way to escape reality or to dream wrong
This dream is very existent and very possible in fact it can be done right now
From right now
This dream is possible the moment i open my eyes to change it into something done here in this life and not only when I dream


When i close my eyes I dream of a girl who loves her faith , truly loves her faith ,
I dream of. A girl who knows her destiny a girl who knows where she wants to go
I dream of a praying girl every time she's hungry
Who knows she can never be full except with praying and loving and asking god for forgiveness
I dream of a girl beautifully covered
Smothered with peace
Delicate with patience
Hoping with the hope in god

I dream of a girl whose steps are for god
Whose moments swirl into Infinity to feel love for being Muslim
I dream of a girl who wakes up early
Early to see sunrise
Late to pray when god is in the sky
I dream of a dark angel cake encircling my life
Taste of fury
Blend of reason
Vastness in passion to .....wait, to never succumb to the failures of life





I dream of a girl with lots of desire
but never retires to it

Credits of unbroken moments
Grade a happiness
Grade a smile
Grade a talk

Grade F for anything bad
she is never anything bad





I dream of. a Girl who is single from despair for despair only comes when u feel without God

I dream of a girl who knows she is not alone
I dream of a wonderful girl
An inspirational goal
A beautiful home
With strong Walls
strong defence
strong breath
and strong sweet scented love


I dream of a girl who can control her soul
Tame her mind
Heal her own heart
Love her self
Want nothing but to beautify this body, this special time
This short way
that God has freely offered her
with no help has he offered her all this
with no debts has he given herall this
with no conditions has he allowed her all this


I dream of a girl who can see beyond today
Who caN see beyond small things
Who can feel deep beyond any of her weaknesses and see her truth

I dream of girl who realises it is a short time
It is. A one tme
It is a once upon a time

....".......for real
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -