Saturday, November 19, 2011

Beautiful Nightmare part 7



Beautiful Nightmare part 7
Julia smashed open the door of the back garden. The heat of the night clung to her face only heating it more. She delved behind the trees and shrubs in her line so no guests would stop her to say hello and walked briskly, head low, feet obeying to get to the main door. She tried to keep her cool so she didn’t attract attention. If anyone did see her they would just think she was the sister of the bride. It was normal for them to look crazy. She made it to their outside door where cars were now built up, people were chatting in crowds and waiters were getting the pepsi ready. Julia looked right and left but could not see Reem. She began to walk to where they had been only a half hour ago half knowing she would not still be there for mum had instructed the house guard to get her out of the vicinity .Julia continued to walk but Reem was nowhere to be seen. She continued to fetch, her eyes frantically searching for the one person she knew had the answer. She went by the trees that lay sleeping on the street, stalked the quiet parked cars that were next to them, and suddenly she saw her.  Reem was in a small car parked under a large tree away from the house. Hidden, Julia could see only a side of Reem’s face but she immediately knew it was her. Reem was crying sitting in the driver seat clearly unable to move. Julia looked around her one last time to make sure no one was watching and walked closer until she was next to her car window. She kneeled to meet her and gently tapped Reem’s window. With a startled jump the girl’s eyes tightened to see who had disturbed her sadness. Reem and Julia became motionless for a while both letting the vastness of their troubles hold the air. Then Julia gently sat up and opened the car seat next to Reem and without allowing her to say no, sat near her. There was an awkward silence for a while as each hoped for the other to say something. Julia could hear the tears that Reem was trying to waffle. She didn’t know whether to hate her or to feel sorry for her. So much had been done to the girl but then so much she had done. Julia could only remember Reem as Lana’s best friend they had gone to school together, college together and always with each other. Lana trusted Reem with her life and So did Reem with Lana. Many the times Reem would sleep over, eat with them go to wedding parties and any family gatherings. Julia could even remember a time when mum liked Reem. But ever since Lana met Ahmed things changed. Ahmed took of Lana’s time. She changed as a woman and Lana wanted nothing but to be with him. Reem became jealous that Lana was distancing herself from her best friend but worse Reem became jealous of Ahmed.  Reem had let that jealousy get so far that she had tried to allure him into an affair. That was the day Lana caught them or rather Lana and Sam had caught them in Ahmed’s apartment kissing. Julia closed her eyes and forced herself to give Reem a chance, just now to speak for since that night, 3 weeks ago, no one had heard from Reem.  ‘’ I’m listening’’ Julia blurted trying to hide her maddening curiosity even though it was blatantly obvious. Julia wondered how hard it would be to get Reem to talk so what happened next startled Julia. Reem took a deep breath and without looking at Julia said ‘’ Julia, I’m going to tell you everything’’.

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -