Thursday, March 22, 2012

one day_ in the future I Will dance for you_ Khartoum Heartmend

Here i am dreaming of seduction and a tale of a dancing ever after
I will look good and strong
and i will be powerful and temptation will be my crown
I will throne the pace of tradition and make even myself envious of his stare
and  Iwill  be expensive and scented with mystery and elegance
but i will also be explicitly dangerous and a clear illusion to all

I will be the one in his heart
the only one he can see
and the only one he wants to be
complete with
and watch
and smile about
and be around
and love

and  Iwill be shining and colourful
but shaded with white and black of simplicity
yet my simplicity is complex and unproducable by ony1 else
Iwill be so unique it hurts
and so new it will be imprinted on cells and minds for years to come

Iwill be the one far entering as near as possible to near peoples awe
Iwill be the one he fantasises about
and cant leave without
and will leave iwth

yes
I will be the dancer
the queen
the only one with the stage
and Iiwll make it a stage to be remembered
and a stage to forgive me later
for all i put it through
but it will forgive me

yes
i wil be the woman he watns
the one he desires
the one his heart beats frantically for
the one he wants to touch
the one he wants to kiss
the one he cannot stop wantin
for less than a second

and in that less than a second
he is making new feelings for me
and he is sinking into me
every new second he breathes

for Iam the dancer that will encapsulate his world
and change his mind
and make him weak
and bring him down to a show
of mine
a show of trust and unity
a show of pleasureful movements and innnocent meanings

subtle love
flirting with time
meaning the other when you mean hte same
Imean you
yes Imean you to see
I mean you to catch me
for iWant you to control me
Iwant you to have me
and i want you to own me

but if i do goal you
then I will only catch you with my kiss
and i will only control you with my smile
and i will only have you always
and i will only own you forever

crazy attention
blissful memories made
automatic concentration with the concentrate of wedding feel
stops and waves into a dramatic existence of drums and vocal
my heart is beating faster for you
my voice is deepening from shortness of breath

Iwant you

I
want
you

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -