Tuesday, March 13, 2012

morning ideas

There is a battle going on and even though Iwant to win it in a day I know i cannot but I know that I can win this battle so I need patience virtue honesty and pride good judgement and strength

Dear God, please give me the 


strength to wake up
strength to stay on
strength to recover
strength to not feel humiliated
strength to not want what you do not have so much
strength for health
strength to study
strength to fall in love ...............

yeah but you needto work at it too
you need to work at it
and think of it as your project

now one year ago did u think you wouldbe here ///..no
and now youre here you are taking it fr granted

Iam not asking you to forget anything Im asking you to remember

can you not have it all?
Do you not want it all?

..............Do they not deserve better?

Does she not deserve better .....from you



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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -