Sunday, March 4, 2012

a sad bud shows

its my choice to be unhappy
god has given me this life and its up to me to live it
one day i will find its gone
and i will think
it was my choice to live that way

its my choiceto be strong or weak
to let others fail me or to fail myself
its my choice to win to lose or to be well


its my choice to let the past haunt me the future terrify me or the present cheat me
its my choiceto let a sad bud grow or cut it and remove it and rpelace it with a rose

its my choiceto see a happy flower grow
to see a happy day show
its my choice to give my heart away
my choice to let others steal it from me

its my choice to become who I am or to change who I am
my choice to watch sadness develop inside me
or to erase sadness around me and within me with glow

its my  choice to become lik this
nobody elses
my choice

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -