Monday, March 19, 2012

14 hours and 12 minutes

what could i have done in that time
I could have slept or watched TV
I could have watched nearly 7 movies
or 14 music albums and then some
I could have wrote a story ,a book maybe!

I could have learned a surah or two in the quran
matter of fact i could have learned a lot of surahs
i could have studied my college studies
and i could have done excercise
I could have lost weight

I could have baked a cake or biscuits though
and i could have painted a beautiful picture
or tried
i could have started to learn sign language
or I could have started and finished the ECDL course

I could have croched a scarf
or I could have done 14 million tasbeehs
Ioculd have wrote a song and madethe tune by guitar and that song would be lovely

I could have walked out and gone shopping
or I could have just stayed home and been happy
I could have prayed 14 hours of praying and asking GOd for what i want
I mean statistically 14 more hours of asking God something is a higher chance of getting it

I just want to know
in those 14 hours and 12 minutes
WHAT have i gained
later when my account adds up in judgement
what will it offer me in points?
in love?
in goodness?
if it was one hour a week okay i wouldnt fail
but 14 hours and 12 minutes
thats a days minus 10 hours

thats a day

So I'm living 6 days a week really instead of 7
I've erased a day that god gave me and i have given it to a company
i've taken nearly 24 hours of my life and even though they say its free
ive paid that price
of 14 hours
or 840 minutes

840 minutes
and 12
thats 852 minutes
ive given away

for what?
just tell me for what?

if i gave 52 minutes and kept the 800 myself wouldnt that be beautiful

but even now i thnk to myself
these minutes are precious hope
there will come a day where i will have no minutes no hours
and i will have all this wasted time on a pile next to me
useless to me
useless

literally useless

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -