Monday, March 26, 2012

DO not lie to yourself

calm down
calm down
you know this breaking point dont u?
you know this is the time that you either go left or right
front or back
good or bad
dark or light
fail or succeed

this is it

the point just before titanic breaks in half
or the calm before the storm
or the point in any movie when the monster jumps at the girl from behind the bushes or killer

that point of unknown dread and silence and knowledge that here
soemthing bad is about to happen but you dont know even though you do

So please get out

NOW
when you can and dont lie to yourself
you are not strong
you are not smart
and you are definieteky not going to win if you keep repeating the obvious terrible drama

 DO not lie to yourself 
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -