Monday, March 19, 2012

Eman 1

Eman
I forget you
selfish of me
but i never thought what if you were here and i was the one gone
I wonder would u be better than I

definietely

Eman
I remember you today
and the reason is not nice
but the result is beautfiul
I wonder if u see me
would you be proud im your sister

Eman
I never had a sister
I forget you
because i dont deserve you
but maybe just maybe

we have a memory together
and maybe just maybe one
day i will see you again

Eman
I hope you dont hate me
I hope you dont miss me
I hope you dont even care

because I dont deserve to have such a beautiful sister like you
a long time ago
i could blame being young
but i could blame being selfish

being glad

Eman
I wish I could have a daughter and name her after you
you are the secret princess
the true tears
the magnificent youth that is not here

Eman
please help me
you are in heaven
please ask God to help me
I beg you

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -