Thursday, March 8, 2012

Echoes in my mind_ ( I deserve better)



I will not let you bring me down
I will be btter stronger more imaginative and I will be free  Iwill succeed and I will be happy
I will be happy and I will be powerful but most importantly i will strive for a clean conscience
I will strive
 Iwill give you 73 chances
God knows what is inside me even if i dont
God knows if im telling the truth or you're telling me lies
or I 'm the bad one or you're the right one
maybe we will never know

but I know , I know
that i deserve better
so here is my promise to myself


I will not shed a tear
I will not shake a mm
I will not fall apart
I will only pass extremely well

because i deserve better


I deserve better

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -