Saturday, January 28, 2012

A long lost dream 1

I have tremendous courage
I have no fear but from God
but this is because im prepared for the expected
and for the unexpected
I feel dangerously reminded
I feel I have done explosively wrong
but God forgives
and not believing that is a sin
I am tired of being explosive
I desire to be .....a long lost dream

I am a beautiful woman
I agree with body and language and
have a confidence that is pure and elegant
sometimes funny and proud
but certainly strong


I am a strong woman


I am a great woman
one who deserves the best


I always ask myself

what is my favourite love story?
The notebook?
Asi and Demir
The sultan and Hoyam?
Ibrahim and Khadija
Tristan & Isolde?
Jalil aldeen and Jodha Akbar?
Bond?
A sudanese wedding?
Sila & jowdat?
Penelope
Lesley & Scott?
havana nights?
Brian and Mia
Waleed and Laila
Babi Y Hache
this random italian series
and many many many more

I stop and try and remember all the hours Ive spent watching love
extracting what I want
what i think

now that is love
I want this
I want to feel that

but wait a minute
I dont know how it feels
and wait a minute

I still havent answered the question
what is my favourite love story?



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No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -