I cannot sleep tonight

I cant sleep I feel sick with torment about whats right and wrong
about what is beautiful and what is ugly
what is mine and what Is not
what i deserve and what I can have
I cant sleep i feel jealous
selfish unlimited with mistakes
I cannot sleep I want to stretch myself until i become invisible
even the closest to me want to make me invisibel
i do not blame them
for I am only expanding
and my dreams are dying
I
am in
pain
my body hurts
my mind cannot sleep
and my mistakes are only getting bigger

I cannot sleep I want what I want
and I need what I want to tell me it is willing to give me another chance
here  i am in 2012
and all i have ts the chance to never letgo
the chance to reduce
the chanceto reducethe misery and become another woman
a woman with meaningful eyes
with beautiful hair
and a red dress......
how I wish for a red dress with gold pearls
and green beads with white satin
and a simple night like tonight with complex emotion and beautiful feelings to tame me
for I am the wild horse that cannot stop running and I am tired
and I am going to die if I do not stop and rest
if I do not stop and tihnk
where it is I am going
what direction do I want to run
and do I really have to run

i must drink some water and rest ....I must drink some water and rest..................