Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Black Pearls & Satin 1


I search for a desire untold by histroy
even I cannot tell it as its light burns me
i have not heard, or seen or felt this lust
i have not even yearned for it as its composition can kill me

I dream of love beyond  surfaces and rooms
beyond levels and skies
beyond relationships and families
beyond freedom and war
beyond me
I dream of a love beyond me

warriors could die for this
soldiers could be armed for this
kings could search for this
and I.... I dream of this
grand exposure with a historic futuristic tale
anywhere I want this fairytale

I close my eyes and see black pearls and long sleeves
i get an idea
how i crave for secret ideas
I collect satin 
I collect time 

a love past stories told
this is unlike any story ever told
a love past what the eye can see
and the heart can beat
this is a love for impossible defeat



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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -