En route to..............a new way of thinking

En route to..............a new way of thinking

God  I wish this  year is great
everyday I understand your plans better
today I realised how important you call was
today I remembered how strong I am
just by being a muslim woman

Dear God
forgive me today
Dear God
Forgive me tomorow
Dear God
forgive me yesterday

Dear God help me out in my anguishes
and dont leave me to languish

I ask for your concern and your dreams
I ask your oppotunities and your jingling keys
your existence in my heart before my eyes can see

Please let my eyes shine with your beautiful disguise
I want you to bulge me into life
I want you to drink me into reality
I want you to taste me into the future

let me rephrase
I want to drink and taste reality and the future as one with you

I want to walk and talk for you
I want to think and click worlds around you

I want to live for you
Ya RAb
let 2010 be ATDS year
let it be my year
entwined with love
and let 12/12 be a miracle day
and let my family healthy all say


we are proud of you
please let me believe in my self
do notlet me fail any test
that you give me
that you set me
I need your forgiveness before I can succeed
Ya rAb I do not want to be the one who has been mistaken
 I do not want to be the girl who was undertaken....
by life

YA rab I do not want to be the evil tongue
the dark earrings and absorbing necklace of demand
I do not demand anything

I just want your acceptance on me
I want to calm my volcano of rage
I want to stage a good drama
an innocent way

Lord knows there are things I do and feel I feel true and do
Lord knows there are things I say and mean I mean wrong and say

others

I ask you to not ever let me repeat the past
do not ever let me repeat the unknown
I ask you to help me

here I am thining I am invincible
when I am truly vvery invisible without you
ya rab ana
ya here or there

Y a rab I am overstretched
I want this And I want that
I feel this and I feel that
I dream this and I think that

I ask for this and I ask for that
they cancel each other out
so I dont ask for anything

Ya rab I have lost my identity
I am identity mess
who I am
what is it that i believe in and want
how much do I love myself
what am I willing to offer myself

how much am I willing to sacrifice for you


In Khartoum... I heard al sorts of heartbreaks
damaging and untold
awful desires and burning devils behind closed doors
poor love but rich in length
eyes attracting the empty
fears telling the story

of a woman bruised by her own commotion
creating her own traffic
stopping behind her own red light

asking all the wrong questions
leading all the wrong path

If I could freeze the summary
and heat the conclusion it would burn with the fuel of ill confidence

I am ill with lack of confidence
I am frightened by the confidence of strong woman stolen from me
its strange I see that confidence and I report it
that is mine
give itback
when did you take it
and how did you steal it that i did not see
if I hadseen you I would have never let you take my cofidence
and they say
shockingly
you gave it to us
for free
..............................................