Memoirs of a Sudanese Breath: Echoes in my mind

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Echoes in my mind_ (Please heal me)

I want to find a surreal place and call it home
never have to leave
never have to cry
I want to find a magic song and call it perfect
never get bored from it never recover from its intensity

I want to find my good self and make it shine
always polish it and let it be mine
and mine aone

I want to find a cool breeze and let it transform me
I want to sit in a hidden forest and feel safe

I want to stare at a beautiful image and know I am the beautiful
I want to love in a moment in time and know I am the reason for love

I want to be calm
I want to be happy
I want to be the reason for someones call
to change their tracks
and walk this way for ever after....................

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -