Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Black Pearls & Satin 2

he waits for her
hecant are to do anything else
he can barely control himself thinking about her
staring out of his wide balcony
tellme what to do, tellme what you have done to me
your stare is imprinted in my memory
I cannot breathe now except with you in it
I cannot think now unless you are in my thoughts
I cannot be who I am without you being who I am

he waits for her his heart beating
never in all his kingship did he feel like this
so out of control like this
not in reign like this
someone ruling him
but how in that moment he loved the image
controlled by her
........

Suddenly he hears the unlocking of the doors
one big breath shallow not intended
turns around
cannot breathe
waiting to see her
her hair, her shimmering eyes
her soft skin
her lack of fear
her mysterious courage

dying to see her.............

to be continued

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -