Sunday, January 27, 2008

Scarce answers

Maybe I love too free
But isn’t that the way love should be?
Without restrictions and evaluations
Just growing temptations
To find out more –

Maybe I love too blind
Never investigating what I find
Only exploring the feelings in my mind
And how your touch is so kind
To my heart-

Do I think too crazily?
That love can be forever baby
That it only has an honest policy
Never a judgmental story
Of appearances and glory

Am I too hazy?
In believing love can heal problems
Shining as a beautiful emblem
Against life’s sharp edges
Cracked and fake ledges

So am I wrong?
When I type love protects
Writes over tears and regret
Am I wrong and should forget?
All that love once meant?

Maybe I love too free
Maybe I love too blind
Do I think too crazily?
Am I too hazy?
So am I wrong?

Questions with answers too long to fit in my head
Wrestling for a space where my emotions once bred
Now battling to configure the prestige from lies that I’m fed
Surfacing to remember the directions of the path I tread
Blatant confusion and whispering perfusions of a theoretical madness take me to wherever I’m led
The trails of my wish list devour the knots to when nothing was said
And only dreams bled – and all my sensations were dead -

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -